hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
