He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
