I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
