Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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