her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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