We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
