i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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