i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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