So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize