im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They took my balls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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