it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
