yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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