Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
