she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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