Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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