why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
