dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
