Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my shit smells like andre
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
