this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
