idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
