There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
