that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
