You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
