why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
