how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
