I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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