...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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