Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
