all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
