she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
