Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
