She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
