dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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