I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
