Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
