it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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