U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
