Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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