I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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