I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
