awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
