He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I smell like Dick and happiness
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
