so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my poor anus
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
