So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
