the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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