I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
