1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
