plz talk dirty to me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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