Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize