Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
