I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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