I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
