The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
