i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
