hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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