There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
