He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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