Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My cat gives me a boner
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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