Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
