A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
