dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
