I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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