Having a random hookup so left but love u
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
