I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
