make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
